Autumn

Autumn

is a smell

a specific smell that

comes in spetember

and leaves in november

if I could I would bottle it up

maybe make a candle

but then it wouldn’t be special

everyone would know

what my autumn smells like

I would smell it all the time

I would hate the smell by the time

September comes back

Autumn is a feeling

warm and soft

like an old flannel blanket

or a cup of tea with honey and lemon

crisp and refreshing

the leaves are under foot

or the way you can see straight

through a thicket of trees

Autumn is time

busy and always running

like the minute hand is catching up to you

which is a shame when you can’t

fully enjoy the harvest season

time for giving thanks

but of all the seasons

only one can hold

my attention

Autumn

 

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Nostalgia

Merriam Webster defines it as ” the state of being homesick”. Today was nostalgic.

Its funny how our minds work to allow certain smells or words to set off a trigger of memories and emotions. Today I saw  sights, people, smells, sounds all left me yearning for somewhere else.

This is typically where I would que Munich to come in, but it was so much more than that. I had a homesickness for a place I have never been. A community I have never met. Yet, I felt this warm ticklish feeling bubble within that only occurs when I am in a certain setting.

I felt that today.

Y’all are all probably wondering what this means to me, well it means I feel at home. I feel like I am attached to a string and each time I see these people, smell these smells, hear them whispering in their native tongue, and feel their presence, the string is yanked and yanked. Like magnets. I don’t know if this is the Lord’s doing. That is something I have to really pray on, but he sent me to Munich where I futher deepened a love for this culture.

So maybe it is or maybe it isn’t… but I still feel nostalgic.

Life Letter #2

Here I sit reflecting upon my life thus far

16 years of living

doesn’t seem to amount too much

however in these 16 years, as my teacher pointed out this past week,

we are experts on education

we have been in education since we were 5

so in so ways we amount to a lot

regardless of that, we still amount

our personalities, decisions, life-styles change the world around us

in ways that seem small but

to go back and change it changes other

people’s lives as well

someone’s decision to make it physically known

that people are nothing; just space

changes the course of

numerous

lives

yet, we see people different from these certain individuals

we see personalities; 16 in fact

ISFJ, ESFJ, INTP, ENTP

ISTP, ESTP, INFP, ENFP

ISFP, ESFP, INTJ, ENTJ

ISTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ

and me, INFJ

& these are only the categories

each letter is a trait

each trait creates

a feeling

these don’t even scratch the surface

of a human

made up of organs, bones, muscles

a brain that sends signals

to

every

part

of

us

each thing is made up a cells

but there are different types of cells

for different parts of the body

each cell contains a system similar to ours

and every cell organelle is made up of an atom

every atom a proton, neutron, electron

and so on

we are all atoms, cells, organs, and organisms

but we all have different structures

physically and mentally

yet some people doesn’t value our existence

and brutally

shoot

bull-doze

and kill

because they don’t see the value we see in

life

we amount to something

our actions are dominos that lead either to crying, laughing, or

somewhere in between

and these individuals actions affect us

our communities

families

nations

but they always end with crying

because we amount to something

we are something

we are all humans

 

 

 

 

yes, I am a feminist…

…for women who are not able to contribute to their society, for women for are held against their will, for women who are undervalued and underestimated, and for women who aren’t allowed to get an education.

I don’t want anyone one to take this the wrong way, no place on earth is perfectly equal. I would love to see more female leaders and I love hearing about women with amazing leadership qualities and their achievements, women have come a long way. But, I really hate hearing about these women who are no longer trying to be equal but instead superior. What the heck is that? Why has it come to this? I feel like we have gone blind and can only see the “inequality” in our country. When, in fact, women’s rights, here, are amazing. And yes there are a few things that aren’t equal. Women don’t always get a typical “man’s” job, there are pay wage gaps, and women can be catcalled. And, once again, I don’t want anyone to take this the wrong way (because yes all these things suck), but we have it pretty good here. We are the lucky ones. Women in Afghanistan aren’t getting the typical “man’s” job because their education isn’t valued. According to the UN Women* in 2013, 12% of women in Afghanistan were literate. And yeah, pay gaps are real. A 2003 study in India* showed that a single sex slave could earn her owner 250,000 rupees or more a year, and she gets little to nothing of it. Not to mention, she is a sex slave; she is being held against her will. And women are definitely being cat-called and harassed. There are many gangs that terrorize low-caste women in India that rape, humiliate, and murder women. I am not in any way trying to make light of the problems that do occur in America; yes women are harassed and some things may be unequal. All I am trying to do is widen your vision. Maybe we should stop spending all of our energy trying to fix America’s problem, and things will never be perfect, and take a look at the world. There are so many things wrong with how women are treated across the globe. Like organizations such as Equality Now or the Malala Fund.

In his novel Half the Sky, Nicholas D. Kristoff writes “American feminism must become less parochial so that it is every bit as concerned with sex slavery in Asia as with title IX sports programs in Illinois”

So women of America, and the world, take a big look at this planet. Real feminism is not about making women supreme and fixing every little problem. Real feminism is helping bring light to the injustices across the world making sure women are treated as humans that deserve respect and an education.

Tuesday Thinking…

What if American feminists cared as much about the women sold into sex slavery, the women who are killed if their dowry isn't enough, or the women who are not "worthy" of an education, across the globe, as they did when Trump was elected president? I wonder how the dynamic of the world could have changed if the Women's March was used to promote women's education and equality WORLDWIDE, even in the little villages of Pakistan, instead of exclusively in America or any other highly developed city. Women here have rights. I think we are just finding things to complain about. And I am not belittling the harassment or rape that happens to women in the US, because I know it does, but it happens everywhere else too.

More to come about this topic…

Munich, Germany

Wow.

Who knew that ten days could pretty much make my life do a 180. I didn’t. You see, I had prayed leading up to this trip that Father (God) would just completely wreck me. While I was there I didn’t feel the wrecking of life that I thought I would feel. I was expecting an epiphany. When I got home I still didn’t really feel changed, little did I know that change comes in many shapes and sizes. I wasn’t destroyed or completely wrecked but I was changed for the better.

In Munich, I relied on Father. I relied on him to change people’s hearts, to lead me to english speakers, and to allow me to carry on a conversation that naturally would lead to Him. I also had to rely on him when I didn’t feel good and I had to continue his work. He always came through. He gave me peace and renewed my spirit each day, even when Satan was attacking me. He healed my hurting stomach and eased my worries. Even though I didn’t have a conversation that really led to his word, he still allowed me to speak about him in small ways. Most of all, he allowed me to continue his work in Munich, something he could have easily done himself but he loves us so much that he allows us to be apart of such a beautiful process.

I am changed. I now have learned how to rely on Father & what a blessing that is. My burdens and struggles are too big for me to carry alone. I have learned that prayer is a powerful tool. He listens to every prayer and always answers them, although the answer may not always be what you prayed for, he knows what’s best. I learned to really just be in his presence, even if I don’t feel his presence. Father is not a “thing” we feel. He is an almighty being/spirit that is always there, and we won’t always feel him. Most of all I learned that He is already at work everywhere and he can use me anywhere and in any way he wants. I need to go somewhere with an open heart and mind because what I may have decided I want to do in his name may not always be what he has decided, and his idea is always better. However, he always wants us to share the Word wherever we are, whether that be praying that the person next to you at your favorite coffee shop would one receive the Word or starting up a conversation about the Word to the woman next to you on a plane. He always wants us to share him with others.

“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. And pray for me, too. Ask God to give me the right words so I can boldly explain God’s mysterious plan that the Good News is for Jews and Gentiles alike. I am in chains now, still preaching this message as God’s ambassador. So pray that I will keep on speaking boldly for him, as I should.” Ephesians 6:18-20 


On another note, Munich was amazing. I loved getting to experience many cultures all in one place. It’s pretty awesome how father can bring so many backgrounds into one city. We were able to concentration camp too, which was such an eye-opening experience. I absolutely loved this city.

I left my heart in Munich.Chancellory buildinggelatoglockenspiel 2barracksView from st. petersWest parkoutside russian orthodox church

 

Life Letter

Dear friends,

I have decided to give up Netflix for lent. Yikes, it has been rough. I’m not Catholic but I do usually participate in lent because sometimes its good just to take a break from something that consumes time. I kinda hat not having something to watch because Timeless is off air right now and I just finished Downton Abbey, which was freaking amazing! Therefore, I would only really be watching Bones, which is on Netflix! Clearly you can see that I am struggling. But, to sit and watch tv is such a waste of time and when I spend time with the Lord I am doing work for something eternal, not earthly.  On another note, I have recently started to read Northanger Abbey, by Jane Austen. So far, it’s pretty good and it seems to be a just a cute romance novel, but hopefully something interesting will happen. Speaking of new things, I have started to try to workout every other day,which is tough because I like my sleep.  I have been using the Beach Body on demand online courses and they’re pretty good and a great way to workout out if you are on a time frame.

I am hoping to try to go pescetarian part of this summer, so  if you have any good recipes let me know! Also (this is super off topic but I freaking love Disney so naturally I had to mention it) I saw Beauty and the Beast  and it was amazing! The original version was one of my favorite movies growing up, along with Anastasia, Peter Pan, and Mulan. The cast  did such an outstanding job portraying the personalities of their diverse characters. Plus, Dan Stevens was in Downton Abbey  and I love him on that so naturally I loved him as the Beast. I’m sure my fellow theater goers were a tad irritated that I sang along with every song, laughed loudly, and slightly yelped at the end -but what can I say? I am a dedicated fan. Sidenote: The scene where Belle goes atop the grassy hill and sings about traveling is the scene I tried to recreate as a small child. I would go in my yard and try to mimic Belle and the way she walks on the grass without smashing it. Needless to say, I was not successful.

Lately I have been struggling with finding joy in everyday moments, although it has gotten better. I have had to pray that God would show me joy in simplicity. And he has. I love that God is allowing me to see such things, it’s quite special. It’s also a great way to start your day. To live in today and not yesterday or tomorrow.

So, there it is. A small update on my life. My your life be filled with joy and Disney songs.

xo, Em

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