Ever since I was little, I have been trying to find God and listen to him. But, I try to hard. I don’t actually live in the moment and abide in him, I chase after any evidence that I think comes from him. These past few glorious summer weeks, I have heard him whisper to me or nudge me to do something out of my comfort zone, and it’s not an audible whisper, but one I hear in my heart. It shook me. I have been trying so hard to actually audibly hear him instead of letting him move me, he has perfect timing.
I was at a church camp around two weeks ago, and I was upset because I felt that my relationship with Jesus solely relied on our communication. I would pray to him and speak to him and I felt that all I heard were crickets. This was because I chasing God; sometimes we get so caught up in running after God when he is actually right beside us, we think to hard about the way things should be done instead of just letting them happen in his timing. I chased him just looking for a mumble from him, only to realize that he had been talking to me the entire time.
You know that feeling like when you feel really compelled to do something even though you absolutely don’t want to because you are afraid or because you think it would be weird or awkward? Sometimes that’s God’s way of speaking to you, pushing you to talk to someone new, serve in a way that’s foreign to you, or even obey authority figures. God definitely speaks to me in that “heart nudging conviction” way. I just was to busy trying to listen instead of listening to it.
And sometimes the things he asks you to do may seem kinda terrible in the moment, but just be patient, God is good. For example, recently (and by recently I mean yesterday) I was baking cupcakes and they were going to be delicious. Yet, somewhere in my recipe, I completely screwed up, and I am normally pretty good at baking. I had no idea what i did wrong; I continued to bake my cupcakes, despite their flaws. When I pulled them out of the oven, they were extremely dense and tasted awful; I was so irritated, I even made an entire bowl on berry frosting for these cupcakes I threw away. Frustrated with my situation, I pulled out my frosting and realized that it was a base for meringue cookies, so I piped out my “frosting” onto a cookie sheet and let them bake for and hour and 30 minutes. And they turned out perfect, my disaster cupcakes made something extraordinary. And that’s what God does with situations. Even though, inviting “Susy Q “to sit with you at lunch may be awkward, you just planted a seed in her, a seed of hope. All because you listened to God when he nudged you to do something. Because you weren’t so busying chasing him, like me, you sat and listened.
God speaks to us in mysterious ways, he doesn’t speak to eveyone the same, but all of his directions are good and for his glory.